To the Muslim Young Woman: The Hidden Pearl

To the Muslim Young Woman: The Hidden Pearl

My dear sister, a word whispered to your ear… carried to your heart… offered to your pure soul. To you, radiant jewel; to you, well-guarded pearl—sincere thoughts and precious counsel from a protective brother and a caring father who wants happiness for you in this world and success in the Hereafter.

All praise is due to Allah, who created us from a single soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both many men and women. I bear witness there is no deity but Allah alone with no partner, and that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger. May Allah’s prayers and peace be upon him, his family, his noble companions, and those who follow them in excellence until the Day of Recompense.

I write to remind, not to instruct—moved by the words of the Most High:

("فَذَكِّرْ إِنْ نَفَعَتِ الذِّكْرَى • سَيَذَّكَّرُ مَنْ يَخْشَى • وَيَتَجَنَّبُهَا الْأَشْقَى")

“So remind, if the reminder should benefit. He who fears [Allah] will be reminded. But the wretched one will avoid it.” (Al-A‘la 87:9–11, Sahih International)

I think well of you—that your heart fears Allah. Here, then, are counsels I ask Allah to make beneficial and sincerely for His Face.

1. Keep the Book and the Sunnah before your eyes.

   ("وَمَا كَانَ لِمُؤْمِنٍ وَلَا مُؤْمِنَةٍ إِذَا قَضَى اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ أَمْرًا أَنْ يَكُونَ لَهُمُ الْخِيَرَةُ مِنْ أَمْرِهِمْ")

   “It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair.” (Al-Ahzab 33:36, Sahih International)

2. Take from sound sacred knowledge. Strive to memorize Qur’an as you can; learn iman, Islam, and ihsan, and live them. Be a model for your family and sisters in faith.
3. Do not waste free time. Avoid lewd songs and trashy magazines. Fill your time with Qur’an, the Seerah, and the lives of the Mothers of the Believers.
4. Adorn yourself with noble character: truthfulness, trustworthiness, modesty, humility, patience; keep ties of kinship and honor your parents.

   ("وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا")

   “Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good.” (An-Nisa 4:36, Sahih International)

   Beware of arrogance, backbiting, tale-carrying, and deceit.
5. Guard your tongue.

   ("لَا خَيْرَ فِي كَثِيرٍ مِنْ نَجْوَاهُمْ إِلَّا مَنْ أَمَرَ بِصَدَقَةٍ أَوْ مَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ إِصْلَاحٍ بَيْنَ النَّاسِ")

   “No good is there in much of their private conversation, except for those who enjoin charity or that which is right or conciliation between people.” (An-Nisa 4:114, Sahih International)

   ("إِذْ يَتَلَقَّى الْمُتَلَقِّيَانِ عَنِ الْيَمِينِ وَعَنِ الشِّمَالِ قَعِيدٌ • مَا يَلْفِظُ مِنْ قَوْلٍ إِلَّا لَدَيْهِ رَقِيبٌ عَتِيدٌ")

   “[Remember] that the two receivers receive, seated on the right and on the left. He does not utter a word but that with him is an observer prepared [to record].” (Qaf 50:17–18, Sahih International)

6. Choose righteous friends. Avoid companions who distract from Allah.

   ("وَلَا تُطِعْ مَنْ أَغْفَلْنَا قَلْبَهُ عَنْ ذِكْرِنَا وَاتَّبَعَ هَوَاهُ وَكَانَ أَمْرُهُ فُرُطًا")

   “Do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect.” (Al-Kahf 18:28, Sahih International)

7. Turn to Allah in heartfelt dua and repentance. Say: O Allah, I have wronged myself greatly, and none forgives sins but You—so forgive me with a forgiveness from You and have mercy on me. You are the Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
8. Remember death and accountability. Prepare for the grave and the Hereafter.
9. Busy yourself with your own faults, not the faults of others.
10. Be truthful. Lying cannot coexist with faith; flee from vanity and exaggeration.
11. In marriage, choose a righteous, chaste man. Do not be deceived by wealth or status. “If one whose religion and character please you comes to you, marry your daughter to him…” (Tirmidhi).
12. Keep your promises. Breaking them stems from weak faith, selfishness, or carelessness.
13. Be humble. It wins hearts and is a mark of the prophets and the righteous.
14. Accept sincere advice wherever it comes from.
15. Walk with modesty. Let modesty touch your gait, speech, dress, and dealings.
16. Love righteous sisters for Allah’s sake. Their love brings Allah’s love and their company brings intercession.
17. Be cheerful—with women only. Guard interaction with men.
18. Do not mimic married women in display or manner.
19. Wear modest, shar‘i clothing. It should not be sheer, tight, or tempting and should suit your age.
20. Benefit from the experience of parents and people of knowledge.
21. Be patient and content with Allah’s decree. Relief comes with patience.

    ("وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مَخْرَجًا • وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ")

    “And whoever fears Allah—He will make for him a way out and will provide for him from where he does not expect.” (At-Talaq 65:2–3, Sahih International)

22. Be like a palm tree: high-minded, far from harm; when stoned, it drops sweet fruit.
23. Increase istighfar.

    ("فَقُلْتُ اسْتَغْفِرُوا رَبَّكُمْ إِنَّهُ كَانَ غَفَّارًا • يُرْسِلِ السَّمَاءَ عَلَيْكُمْ مِدْرَارًا • وَيُمْدِدْكُمْ بِأَمْوَالٍ وَبَنِينَ وَيَجْعَلْ لَكُمْ جَنَّاتٍ وَيَجْعَلْ لَكُمْ أَنْهَارًا")

    “And I said, ‘Ask forgiveness of your Lord. Indeed, He is ever a Perpetual Forgiver. He will send [rain from] the sky upon you in [continuing] showers and give you increase in wealth and children and provide for you gardens and provide for you rivers.’” (Nuh 71:10–12, Sahih International)

24. Perform the obligations as legislated, with sincerity.
25. Always keep taqwa. It opens doors and brings provision (At-Talaq 65:2–3). Sins can bar provision.
26. Avoid the unlawful in food, drink, and dress. The unlawful erases blessing and blocks dua (Muslim).
27. Honor your elder sister; she shares your memories and gives sincere counsel.
28. Do not boast of beauty, wealth, or lineage. Boast in uprightness, purity, dignity, and chastity.
29. Have a noble life-goal; do not live to kill time. Idleness fuels desire.
30. Do not be driven by base desire, satanic whispers, or obscene media.
31. Choose your role models: the female companions, not celebrities. Let hijab be modesty, not adornment; your nights prayer, not frivolity.
32. Guard yourself from phone traps and private chats that steal honor and bring lasting regret.
33. Daughter of ‘A’ishah and sister of Fatimah, your happiness lies in adherence to your faith; turning away brings loss.
34. Hold fast to the Qur’an; it is safety, healing, and mercy.
35. Let a gentle smile be your hallmark— with women—at greeting, parting, asking, and thanking.
36. Lower your gaze from men; it purifies the heart and guards instinct.
37. Help those who seek you— with a kind word, bright face, and wise advice.
38. By Allah, this is written out of care: bathe in repentance; return to your Lord; hold to your faith, honor, and hijab. The world is fleeting; the Hereafter endures.
39. Cleanliness and order— ghusl, wudu, pleasant scent, and siwak—remedy many troubles.
40. Do not brag about certificates; true culture shows in speech and conduct.
41. Be sensitive in gatherings; do not speak of a fault in front of one who has it.
42. Do not chat with male vendors when a mahram is present; if absent, keep speech formal and necessary only.

    ("فَلَا تَخْضَعْنَ بِالْقَوْلِ فَيَطْمَعَ الَّذِي فِي قَلْبِهِ مَرَضٌ")

    “Do not be soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is disease should covet.” (Al-Ahzab 33:32, Sahih International)

43. Ignore catcalls, “compliments,” and notes from strangers.
44. Extinguish grudges by pardoning those who wronged you.
45. Keep physical distance with male vendors; ask them to step back in tight spaces.
46. Make dua often, and keep your heart clean toward believing sisters:

    ("رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلِإِخْوَانِنَا الَّذِينَ سَبَقُونَا بِالْإِيمَانِ وَلَا تَجْعَلْ فِي قُلُوبِنَا غِلًّا لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا رَبَّنَا إِنَّكَ رَءُوفٌ رَحِيمٌ")

    “Our Lord, forgive us and our brothers who preceded us in faith and put not in our hearts [any] resentment toward those who have believed. Our Lord, indeed You are Kind and Merciful.” (Al-Hashr 59:10, Sahih International)

47. Beware of hurting others— a word may weigh heavy with Allah.
48. Make excellent character your constant aim; it completes faith.
49. Avoid all forms of illicit photography; it is a weapon for blackmail.
50. Avoid love letters and flirting; they become chains.
51. Be high-minded; seek lasting ranks through knowledge, good, and benefit to others.
52. Read the lives of the righteous women; it raises resolve.
53. Know that this world is a journey, not a home; prepare provision for the inevitable travel.
54. Remember: your Lord forgives the one who seeks forgiveness, accepts the penitent, and welcomes whoever returns.
55. Show mercy to the weak; give to the needy; let go of hatred and be healed.
56. Be optimistic; Allah is with you, the angels seek forgiveness for you, and Paradise awaits you.
57. Wipe your tears with good opinion of your Lord; chase worries by remembering His favors.
58. Know no one’s dunya is perfect; no one gets every want free of hardship.
59. Pause and take stock. Are you heedless or striving for Allah’s pleasure? Which road are you on?
60. I speak because I trust your faith and intellect and your response to the Prophet’s command.
61. Be courageous and take a stand.

    ("فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ")

    “So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard.” (An-Nisa 4:34, Sahih International)

    Guard Allah, and He will guard you.
62. Finally: excuse the frankness. It is the cry of one who cares and warns—hoping your ear hears, your heart responds, and your mind awakens.

May Allah make your glance reflective, your silence thoughtful, and your speech remembrance; make you a guide who is guided, living happy, dying a martyr, and gathered with ‘A’ishah, Fatimah, and Khadijah—among those whom Allah favored with sincere counsel and devotion to this religion. Ameen.