Pre-Engagement Indicators
by w3ad5 Pre-Engagement Indicators
Pray Istikhara and make du‘ā’ before committing, then repeat it. Perhaps Allah will show you what is right.
How should two people judge suitability for marriage?
There are several essential indicators. If any one of them is missing, stop immediately and reassess.
- God-consciousness (Taqwa): If he/she fears Allah and seeks His pleasure, proceed. If not, do not.
- Generosity: If he/she is generous in spending on self and others, proceed. If stingy, do not.
- Wisdom under anger: If he/she remains composed and measured when angry, proceed. If unrestrained, do not.
- Maturity: If he/she sees far, understands life’s realities, and is balanced, proceed. If not, do not.
- Giving spirit: If he/she is giving and prioritizes the spouse’s preferences, proceed. If selfish, do not.
- Ambition and drive: If he/she is motivated, active, renewing, and high-minded, proceed. If the opposite, do not.
- Character and manners: If he/she is well-mannered and upright, proceed. If not, do not.
- Good roots: If he/she comes from a good family with honorable parents and a sound reputation, proceed. If not, do not.
These eight traits are the most important and must be present in both husband and wife. If any one is missing, sustaining a happy life becomes difficult.
For those preparing to marry, Istikhara is like a lamp that reveals what lies ahead and guides to a safe shore. Pray Istikhara and make du‘ā’ before engagement, and repeat it, that Allah may grant you insight into what is correct.
