Advice for the Muslim Woman Preparing for Marriage

Essential Pillars of a Valid Marriage

1. The Guardian (Wali): Abu Musa reported that the Prophet ﷺ said: “There is no marriage without a guardian.” [Abu Dawood]
2. Two Witnesses: “There is no marriage without a guardian and two just witnesses.” [Ibn Ḥibbān]
3. Dowry (Mahr): An obligatory gift of honor from the husband to the wife.

("وَآتُوا النِّسَاءَ صَدُقَاتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةً")

“And give the women [upon marriage] their bridal gifts graciously.” (An-Nisa 4:4, Sahih International)

The Prophet ﷺ encouraged ease: “The best marriage is that which is easiest.” Avoid competing in extravagant dowries.

The Wedding Ceremony

• Keep the celebration halal. Avoid unlawful mixing, music, late-night excess, and un-Islamic customs or displays.
• Permissible announcement is allowed with the duff and halal singing. [Sunan]
• Avoid blameworthy customs like imitating non-Muslim bridal fashions or ritualized ring practices with problematic origins.

The Wedding Night

• Learn the adab of Muslim married life from reliable books.
• Ignore exaggerated stories that cause fear; avoid indecent media.
• Beautify yourself in permissible ways; pray two rak‘ahs with your husband to begin on obedience.
• Modesty is faith, but do not let excessive shyness harm intimacy or communication.

The Husband’s Rights

Obey him in what is lawful, provide him with tranquility, and guard his honor and property.

("وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً")

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.” (Ar-Rum 30:21, Sahih International)

("فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ")

“So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard.” (An-Nisa 4:34, Sahih International)

• Be responsive to his lawful needs. Avoid unnecessary refusal and harmful jealousy.
• Serve your home with ihsan. Preserve marital secrets. Nurture children with sincerity.
• Be gentle in speech. Reduce complaints. Choose the right time to discuss problems.

("وَالْوَالِدَاتُ يُرْضِعْنَ أَوْلَادَهُنَّ حَوْلَيْنِ كَامِلَيْنِ")

“Mothers may breastfeed their children two complete years for whoever wishes to complete the nursing [period].” (Al-Baqarah 2:233, Sahih International)

The Wife’s Rights

• Mahr: It is yours. No one may take from it without your willing consent.
• Maintenance: Food, clothing, and housing according to what is reasonable, even if you are wealthy.
• Kind Treatment and Protection: You are entitled to dignity, fair companionship, and religious care.

("وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ")

“And live with them in kindness.” (An-Nisa 4:19, Sahih International)

("يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا")

“O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones…” (At-Tahrim 66:6, Sahih International)

• You must not obey him in sin; obedience is only in what is right.
• Leaving the house is by his permission except for necessary, Sharia-compliant needs.

("وَقَرْنَ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ")

“And abide in your houses…” (Al-Ahzab 33:33, Sahih International)

Conclusion

This overview provides foundational guidance for a blessed Muslim marriage. Begin with taqwa, mutual respect, and clear rights and duties. May Allah bless your union and place affection and mercy between you.